hello all
i am so fucking high
like
badly
not bad bad
i mean
holy shit
i took two bong hits
TWO
and i think i have been sitting here for like
actually i dont even know
time is fucked
my hands feel really far away like im typing but it feels like somebody else is doing it for me
wait
thats creepy
ignore that
i opened the fridge liek 10 minutes ag
i think 10
maybe 30
and the light came on
and i closed it
and then i realized
i have never actually seen the light turn off
because the door is closed
like obviousl
but how do i KNOW
i don
nobody does
engineers probably
fuck engineers
not liek fuck engineers
i mean
they probably know
i dont
i opened it again to check and the light was on AGAIN
which proves nothing
because it knows when i oepn it
i am not stupid
actually i am pretty fucking stupid right now
hold on i need water
i got water
why is water like that
it tastes cold
not like cold water
i mean the taste IS cold
does that make sense
i dont care
i can hear my ac
it is so loud
has it always been that loud
theres no fucking way
it sounds like the house is breathing
wait
dont say that
thats horrible
anyway refregerator
refridgerator
refidgerator
frirediretor
fuck
fridge
why does dridge have a d
wait
wait wait wait
refrigerator
fridge
refrigerator
fridge
there is NO D IN REFRIGERATOR
where did it come from
who added that
why did all of us agree to this
this is actually pissing me off
hold ojn i need to google it
no
im not googling shit
i will forget what im doing
i already forgot
oh yeah d
the d
theres a fucking d in fridge
i just stared at that sentence for so long
my screen looks really nice
like the letters are so
letter
idk
very white
anyway
i was gonna put my phone in the fridge and record the light going off
but i dont want to put my phone in there
thats fucked up
it doesnt know what a fridge is
imaging being my phone youre just chilling
then some giant picks yoy up and puts you next to cheese oin the dark
wait phones dont even think
obviously
i know that
im so fucing high
this is ridiculous
i keep forgetting im typing
i just sat here for like
idk
long enough that my screen dimmed
why does it do that
dont do that
im still here
hello
okay
fridge
the fridge is cold
like really cold
37 degrees
thats insane
37 degees is like
winter
thats winter
i love in arizona
37 is b asically antarctica
antarctica by $uicide boy$ just turned on as i wrote antarctica wtf
but people here put on hoodies when its 70
actually i do too
whatever
but teres a little 37 degrees box in my house
holy shit
a refridgerator is just winter in a cabinet
why did nobody tell me that
we made winter
we trapped it
in a box
and then we put cheeese in it
what the fuck
CHEESE
hold on i have cheese
i opened the fridge again
i forgot why
theres shredded mozzarella 🤤
its just cheese but someone cut it into grass
cheese grass
wait no
dont call it that
thats disgusting
i ate some
its really good
why is cheese make from milk
like
milk is wet
cheese is not wet
well some cheese is wet
ew
no
ignore that
how did somebody figure that out
like some guy had milk and kept fucking with it until it became cheese
and everybody was liek yeah eat that
human beings are insane
we just keep doing shit to food
bread is also fucked
you take powder
add water
then it becomes a thing
then you bake it
then its bread
THATS A SPELL
cooking is literally witchcraft
why is noboy talking about this
wait i was talking abiout refridgerators
i think
i need to scroll up
no i dont
im not reading allat
im gonna get lost
holy shit my fingers are typing SO fast
they dont feel fast
they feel slow
but the words keep appearing
this is freaking me out a little
not bad
just
wow
i can type without thinking about every key
how
muscle memory is fucking creepy
my hands know where letters are
I DONT
if you gave me a blank keyboard right now and asked me where the R key is i genuinely think id cry
wait
r is
there
obviously
i just pressed it
that doesnt count
i looked at it
fuck
my mouth is so dry
where does spit even go when youre high
like genuinely
where did it go
i had spit earlier
i know i did
did my body turn it off
can u run out of spit
i need more water
i got more water again
this glass is heavy as fuck
its not
but it is
yknow
no you dont
i barely do
theres a car outside
wait no
thats my ac
holy shit
im fucking stupid
i was listening to the ac waiting for the car to drive away
it never did
because it is my HOUSE
okay that was really funny
i actually laughed
i think luna is judging me
she looked at me
wait
where even is she
oh
there
she has been sitting there the entire time
cats are so weird
they just exist in your house
like i have a whole animal
she lives here
she does not pay rent
she does not have a job
she just walks around and screams sometimes legend
what does she think my macbook is
does she know what a computer is
no
obviously
but like what does she THINK it is
probably warm rectangle
thats probably what all computers are to cats
warm rectangl
huamn stares at it
sometimes human gets mad
actually yeah
that is exactly what a computer is
holy shit cats undersand technology better than we do
i forgot about the fridge again
why am i even writing this
oh
BLOG
IM WRITING A BLOG
fuck
hello blog
i forgot you were there
how much have i written
oh lorde
im not reading allat tomorrow
actually i am
this is gonna be horrible
i just spelled horrible wrong 4 times
you cant see it because i fixed it
horirble
horribel
horbile
okay now you can
whatever
why do typos look so fucking ugly
like you look at a word and your brain just knows
thats WRONG
even if you dont know why
language is fake
all of this is fake
not fake fake
fuck
you know what i mean
probably
i dont
i want fried
obh my god
fries
fry's
WHY IS FRYS CALLED FRYS
fry's sells fries
did thet plan that
is that intentional
it has to be
no it doesnt
fry is probably some time travellers name 🏀
philip j fry
imagine being a time traveler and opening a grocery store
then 70 years later some stoned girl in arizona is mad at you because potatoes exist
sorry philip
you're probably dead
if you're dead
i dont know how old fry's is
im not googling it
i can not be trusted with firefox right now
i will ed up reading about dams or something
actually dams r crazy too
we stopped a river
likewe just put a wall there
and the river was like
oh
okay
?????????????
water is so stupid
it just goes wherever gravity tells it
no opinions
no plans
just downhill
unless pipe
wait
pipes make water go up
how
pressure
okay i know pressure exists
dont explain pressure to me right now i will die
i am way too high for fluid mechanics
why did i write fluid mechanics
that sounds so seruous
im literally eating shredded cheese with my hand
this is not a fluid mechanics environment
i dropped some
fuck
got it
actually no thats a different piece
how much cheese is on my desk
oh mty god
none now
good
clean
i just hit a trick shot in cup pong
wait theres one
okay
i keep thinking im done writing and then i remember another thing
my brain is like 40 browser tabs and i cant see the titles
one of them is playing music
wait there IS music
im listening to $uicideboy$
holy shit
i forgot
i have had the same song playing this whole time
has it looped
i dont know
this song is like 4 minutes
ive definitely been here longer than 4 minutes
maybe spotify stopped
no its playing
different song
okay
good investigation mira
really important work
my eyes feel slow
how can eyes be slow
they are
i move them and then i feel like my brain catches up
not literally
probably
i dont know
i just lookedat my door and forgot what a door was for like half a second
not like i didnt know what a door is
i knew what it was
it just looked weird
too rectangle
everything in houses is rectangles
door rectangle
screen rectangle
window rectangle
frdige rectangle
HOLY SHIT FRIDGE
i should check the light
wait i did
there was a button
I ALREADY SOLVED THIS
did i write that
scroll
no
not scrolling
i remember pressing the button
light off light on
light off light on
that was really fun actually
i might do it again
no dont my cheese is in there
leave it alone
why am i protecting the cheese
im so maternal
its fine
its literlaly rrefridgerated
thats the entire point
i feel like i have been writing for 6 hours
even though its probably only been 15 minutes
i dont know
time stoped being useful
my clock says
wait
why is it so tiny
12:3
something
i cannot read that from here
lean closer 12:33
yeah probably
why did i lean my entire body toward the screen instead of just looking
im IN FRONT OF IT
this bong absolutely beat my ass
like wow
i thought people were exaggerating
they were not
i am not thinking manually
every thought feels like i have to pick it up with both hands
and then hald the time i put it down soemwhere and lose it
like keys
thought keys
where did i put the
see
i literally forgot what sentences i was writing
i was making an analogy
probably bad
good
saved everyone
cup pong sucks my ball just bounced off the cup
i need food
proper food
not handufl cheese
what do i have
crackers
oh shti
CRACKERS AND CHEESE
i am a genius
wait thats just cheese and crackers
thats already a thing
fuck
i though i invented it
this keeps happening
i keep inventing shit humanity already did
im turning into acai
shrodinger
cheese and crackers
winter box
actually winter box is mine
nobody take that
patent pending
i have no patent
dont sue me
who would sue me for calling a fridge a winter box
whirlpool
oh fuck whirlpool made my fridge
maybe
idk
what brand is it
im not getting uo again
it can remain anonymous
w opsec
protect its identity
my refrigeratoe did nothing wrong
except LIE TO ME
wait did it lie
no i accused it with no evidence
thats fucked up
sorry fridge
i genuinely feel bad now
WHY DO I FEEL BAD FOR AN APPKICANE
i need to stop
im gonna eat crackers
and cheese
and water
not eat water
drink water
obviously
holy shit
okay
bye
wait
goodnight
hello
whatever time
fridge